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Episode 51: Vision For Transition Within the Family Business

In this episode of the family business show, hosted by Michael Palumbos, Chris Yonkers discusses the critical aspects of creating a vision for transition within a family business. He emphasizes the significance of understanding one's personal values and aligning them with the business's goals. Chris shares his journey from working at 3M to becoming a coach who aids businesses in scaling and growth. He emphasizes the importance of addressing organizational health and mindset to implement strategies effectively.

Chris recounts his experience with a family business where sibling dynamics and role definitions were causing stagnation. Through his intervention, the family members were able to address their underlying issues, leading to productive changes and personal growth for each individual involved. He illustrates how his approach helps business leaders and their teams align personal ambitions with the company's direction, ensuring a cohesive and purpose-driven transition.

Michael and Chris discuss the importance of commitment and accountability in achieving the set goals. They touch upon neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) and how understanding one's mindset can significantly influence personal and business outcomes. The episode concludes with Chris offering resources for listeners interested in exploring these concepts further, including his book "Soul Intention" and his podcast "Secret Thoughts of CEOs."

This episode provides valuable insights into the intertwining of personal development and business strategy, particularly in the context of family businesses undergoing transition.

Episode 51 Transcript


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Michael Palumbos: Hello everybody and welcome to the family business show i'm your host Michael Columbus from family wealth and legacy in Rochester New York and.

 

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Michael Palumbos: We are super excited to be bringing in an incredible show we're going to be talking about vision and creating a vision for transition.

 

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Michael Palumbos: within the family business that you know can really impact not just your life, but your entire team's life and your entire family's life we're joined by Chris yonkers today and just welcome Chris.

 

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chrisdesktop: Thanks for Thank you.

 

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chrisdesktop: Thank you very much.

 

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Michael Palumbos: So we have kind of a tradition on the show.

 

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When we get started.

 

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Michael Palumbos: What I have found is that it's very few and far between did.

 

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Michael Palumbos: Somebody start their career saying i'm going to go to school and I can't wait to serve family businesses.

 

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Michael Palumbos: And I would love to hear kind of you know what was the Chris jaco journey to get to the point where you know family businesses were on your radar.

 

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chrisdesktop: Okay um well let's see hi yeah it's one of the things I found me.

 

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chrisdesktop: The the the history is I started in sales working at 3am worked at 3am for actually for 25 years.

 

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chrisdesktop: Then somewhere let's say 1012 years ago i'd started doing some have called private coaching with my Bible more life coaching at the time.

 

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chrisdesktop: And then, then I few years behind that I started taking my experience, helping businesses grow that working at 3am and working on strategy and sales and execution.

 

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chrisdesktop: Taking that brain into the small, medium business and helping small, medium businesses scale and grow leveraging that well then, what I found was is that.

 

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chrisdesktop: I the the health of the organization would pull back the strategies we would implement, and it was like whoa wait a minute like.

 

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chrisdesktop: If if if the if this place in regards to like people don't trust each other they're not open they're not created accountability it just.

 

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chrisdesktop: was creating a lot of issues, so I started studying Patrick when she owns work bringing that work in.

 

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chrisdesktop: And then that led to well I realized that the mindset of the owner and the founder the CEO that controlled things as well, and in a massive way and I couldn't out I couldn't outdo their paradigms, if you will, and so I trained with.

 

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chrisdesktop: Some name, why would small someone who initially trained Tony robbins when Tony started with her Tony is working in personal power and.

 

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chrisdesktop: I became practitioner and learn neuro linguistic programming, which is the science of behavior change and I started bringing that into my work.

 

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chrisdesktop: And so now, I was, I went from someone who was focused on one thing to someone who was holistically focusing on growing an organization 360.

 

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chrisdesktop: Well, so I was working with a client and he had said he uses a financial very large financial advisory firm and he said, you know.

 

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chrisdesktop: i've got a family business and they're there they've got a problem isn't problems he says a father and he has three three i'll call them kids but the next generation they weren't kids.

 

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chrisdesktop: And there are young adults and he said they're they're stuck and i've got an attorney involved and we're trying to figure out they've got several businesses, and we can get on the same page.

 

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chrisdesktop: And I said oh Okay, he goes i'd like you to come in and see if you could work with them and i'm like well I don't do family business and he's like.

 

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chrisdesktop: This is this is irrelevant, he said I just come in and see if you can see where they're stuck and I think you can help them, so I went in.

 

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chrisdesktop: And I could see where they were stuck and, and so I just I literally Michael I framed out an engagement.

 

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chrisdesktop: And just it was like okay well here's how I work and and I just did it out of my head whiteboard at it and then we signed an agreement, the next day and started and then that led.

 

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chrisdesktop: to other other referrals other engagements over the years and now a majority of our business is his family business.

 

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Michael Palumbos: awesome yeah no I mean and that's.

 

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Michael Palumbos: very typical in this industry.

 

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Michael Palumbos: You know it's funny i'm the little little the opposite I got interested in family businesses, because my father and I were in business.

 

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Michael Palumbos: mm hmm, and so I joined a family business support group i'll call it that was you know part of my local Chamber, and you know 20 years ago I was you know the traditional fit you know wealth advisor.

 

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Michael Palumbos: And so, when I joined the Group, it was kind of like you know they're holding up the Cross go away financial advisor you're not allowed in this group and i'm like no but I really need you, and it was great because.

 

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Michael Palumbos: You know I just turned off anything other than you know, focusing on what I was going through with the relationship with my father, and it was really helpful.

 

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Michael Palumbos: And that little piece was just like he really want to you know there's other people out there they're going through exactly the same stuff.

 

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Michael Palumbos: You said, and I want, I think this is super important the very first client that you know, was a family business.

 

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Michael Palumbos: You said you could see where they were stuck.

 

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Michael Palumbos: Can you without divulging any information can you get.

 

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Michael Palumbos: That picture what stuck.

 

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Michael Palumbos: look like.

 

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chrisdesktop: So basically yeah so there's situation where it was.

 

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chrisdesktop: There so there's 33 siblings one of them.

 

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chrisdesktop: had been with in the in one of the primary businesses for the long haul kind of grew up in the business and.

 

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chrisdesktop: They he so he was he was kind of kind of he wasn't able to say the dad was a CEO and he was like the number two well years had gone by and his brother.

 

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chrisdesktop: was studying and doing some other things in business and decided he wanted to come back to family business, so I went to his dad.

 

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chrisdesktop: and his and he quite grown some pretty strong leadership skills so his dad brought him into the business and made them the other brothers boss.

 

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chrisdesktop: and his brother brother was kind of upset about that side i've been here i've been a loyal one you know so kinda reminds us a story of the Bible almost anyway.

 

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chrisdesktop: So the sister, who was involved in the business well, she was, but she wasn't she was drawn a good six figure income.

 

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chrisdesktop: working extremely hard time doing something that you could hire someone for I don't know $10,000 a year and then so there's animosity about that.

 

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chrisdesktop: And so, everyone has everyone's at this table with this animosity, with one another, but no one was willing to talk about the animosity, and so it's like the end and then so they're they're showing up at odds about trying to figure out how do we navigate.

 

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chrisdesktop: Who does what and what business, you know and with all this property and real estate holdings and everything else they're already there was already you know.

 

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chrisdesktop: it's like you can't you can ignore and avoid what's going on right it's like it's like having high blood pressure and just ignoring it, you know for so long, until you end up at a crossroads right.

 

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chrisdesktop: And that's that's kind of where where things where we're at and and when when when when we got to the heart of it.

 

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Michael Palumbos: So you know, for the sake of the listener describe this company a little bit if you don't mind um and again without you know just a picture we got three siblings.

 

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Michael Palumbos: yeah we got dad.

 

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Michael Palumbos: This is it sounds like you know multiple businesses and pretty successful are we talking, you know, a company.

 

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Michael Palumbos: that's doing over $10 million a.

 

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chrisdesktop: year old oh.

 

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chrisdesktop: Oh yeah I mean we're talking collectively it's probably I mean probably 30 3040 million.

 

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Michael Palumbos: yeah and so you know, one of the things that I love to share with our audience is that when you get over $10 million of revenue you're in the top 1% of businesses out there today.

 

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Michael Palumbos: And so you know it's not that you're not good it's not that you're you know I mean you, you should need to be congratulated you're doing great incredible things but we're talking about the moving the widgets.

 

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Michael Palumbos: Part we're talking about the you know we're talking about doing business working you know, in the business, but sometimes that working on the business, especially within the family business.

 

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Michael Palumbos: We get a little off track, because sometimes we run the business almost like we ran the family that sound familiar.

 

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chrisdesktop: yeah yeah absolutely it was it's hard it's hard for folks to separate separate the situation you know, like giving, for example, like putting putting you know you never would put someone in a position where you're paying them six figures, a year to do a $10,000 a year job.

 

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chrisdesktop: But you do it for your daughter.

 

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chrisdesktop: yeah you know so.

 

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chrisdesktop: that's Those are the things that happened then and then you act like it's normal and fine.

 

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chrisdesktop: But then, meanwhile, you know you've got employees the CFO who's having a family members, like what the hell's going on here, you know it just it just creates all sorts of of challenges, you know.

 

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chrisdesktop: I mean, if you want to give someone money then give them money, but you tie it tied to the business it's going to impact the overall you know the overall what's going on right.

 

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Michael Palumbos: Right and it's it's a slippery slope isn't it it's you know these things don't start out with going from hey come on in you know my daughter and i'm going to give you a you know six figure job out of the gate.

 

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Michael Palumbos: it's you know we might have might have initially started around $40,000 or $20,000 but then you know she needed a phrase.

 

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Michael Palumbos: She needed something else and but and we and we lack a culture of accountability.

 

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Michael Palumbos: That we expect for our non family members, but we don't always expect the same for family members.

 

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chrisdesktop: Right and and the really interesting issue about that particular project was is that.

 

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chrisdesktop: was what when I start working with people.

 

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chrisdesktop: I I start working with the family members, one on one and then collectively as a group, both.

 

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chrisdesktop: Because I can't I can't out coach the as if i'm working with a group, I can outcoached the level of the you know.

 

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chrisdesktop: Call it, though, the lowest level or the highest level dysfunction within an individual in relationship to that group, because I was working around it right.

 

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chrisdesktop: and come to find and you know doing doing purpose work vision work with the daughter is that she didn't want to be there, she wasn't even interested in being there and, quite frankly, she wanted to pursue.

 

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chrisdesktop: a career in the medical profession, which had nothing to do with the businesses never zero.

 

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chrisdesktop: And she was afraid to bring it up, because she thought that you know it would it would disappoint.

 

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chrisdesktop: her father and there was you know and so there's also this relationship of wanting her dad to be proud of her and all those other business.

 

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chrisdesktop: And so, needless to say, we work through that and through the transition, she was exited out of the business everyone was happy i'm a couple and.

 

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chrisdesktop: She was able to pursue, in fact, several years later I got an email from her out of the blue, and initially I was like whoa who's this I couldn't I couldn't connect the dots right away because.

 

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chrisdesktop: She has been married and to share the same last name as the rest of family whatnot right and forgotten and, needless to say, I was a big picture of her.

 

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chrisdesktop: dressed as a nurse and just you just got back from some volunteer work that she did and.

 

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chrisdesktop: And just thanking me and I thought wow how cool is that right how cool is that that you know she was able to really pursue what would she really wanted in her life for them today, the other proud of the fact that that's passed on, and then the two brothers are still in the business.

 

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Michael Palumbos: that's great yeah we get that as parents, one of the biggest jobs that we have is to help you know it's not always about us right it's not about preserving our legacy, or what we perceive as legacy which you know, is really easy to project.

 

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Michael Palumbos: on to the next generation, the rising generation and what where we really need to be thinking about is how do we help every family member pursue their genius pursue their happiness and and help them to do that and that's that recipe for that happy happy healthy family right.

 

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chrisdesktop: yeah and it's it's tough because he's got you've got two different you know it's like feel look at how people normally navigate their life experience and in relation, and this is probably the part of the work, my work that makes a probably a bit different is.

 

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chrisdesktop: We oftentimes are making decisions in relationship to what we decide that isn't totally truly aligned with what we want, at the truth of ourselves were reflecting like what you know what's the family number one for.

 

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chrisdesktop: us with a friend, one for us what society, one for us we're constantly programmed in regards to how we like define what's what success look like what it really is success.

 

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chrisdesktop: What you know what's quality of life, called all these things that you know we don't.

 

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chrisdesktop: Look at it this way, but in essence that's kind of what's happening and we've created this.

 

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chrisdesktop: This model of the world, and how we truly want to navigate and drive these outcomes and typically for business owners.

 

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chrisdesktop: People in that people that are at the helm of a business they're motivated by one of three things it's either I want more power.

 

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chrisdesktop: or authority I want more I want to be number one or I want to be known so each of these, these are three realms that people can pursue this high achievers will pursue.

 

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chrisdesktop: And they're nice but they only get you so far, because the filaments not found in being number one happiness is not found in having power and authority.

 

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chrisdesktop: I mean, these are things that we would you know again we're not lot it's not logical it's just the orientation.

 

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chrisdesktop: So you've got that sense of order into you're trying to satisfy these conditions to drive your happiness your peace fulfillment your joy.

 

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chrisdesktop: And can't figure out why you're not getting there can you know there's there's something absent and what's absent is is that you really truly have an orientated.

 

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chrisdesktop: to building a life that's tied to your purpose, because your purpose isn't tied to be number one or you know, having this power authority that your ego is.

 

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chrisdesktop: And so the work that I do there's one part of transcending the ego and there's another part of really dialing into what's our true purpose and what's what's that mean is, we unpack that.

 

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chrisdesktop: And then, how do we build a life that that pulls us that way, so we can we can make better choices and decisions.

 

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Michael Palumbos: love it love it it's it's really you know, at the end of the day, it's not something that we talk about on a regular basis we're not taught this stuff that you know our our how we think.

 

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Michael Palumbos: And how we act can actually be different, and when we have that you know, cognitive dissonance happening, it just it just causes all kinds of issues and what we're trying to at the end of the day, what's really important to us right.

 

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chrisdesktop: that's right that's right.

 

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Michael Palumbos: Talk about let's go and we want to keep going back to this family if you don't mind, because I just think.

 

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Michael Palumbos: It really is helpful to keep pulling it back together so.

 

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Michael Palumbos: You put a proposal together for them, you know and said, you know here's what it looks like.

 

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Michael Palumbos: And i'm sure today that that proposal might look a little different, but what is, how does, what does the proposal from Chris yonkers organization look like you know what is the kind of like the process that you that you talked about in the beginning, before you start doing it.

 

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chrisdesktop: yeah Well, this is always several stages, the first stage, really is we call it the blind spot discovery as an essence, you know.

 

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chrisdesktop: All right, you've got some clarity and what you maybe maybe it's you know if you still don't know what you want, like an a family business, it could be.

 

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chrisdesktop: I don't even really know if I want to pass this on to my kids holistically if I want to bring someone else in.

 

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chrisdesktop: I don't know if we're going to sell this thing I mean i'm working on the phone business right now i'm like well, maybe we sell it and then just go to someone else's fam.

 

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chrisdesktop: I mean there's never been a better time in history, for a lot of businesses to sell right now so there's that's that's on the table.

 

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chrisdesktop: And so you say, well, you see, you say we start, we know what you want, we don't do they have a lot of questions and that's okay it's really understanding, where are we period and the blind spot discovery, in essence, what we look to do is.

 

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chrisdesktop: We just we're just finishing one up for a client right now, where you know we're interviewing.

 

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chrisdesktop: and employees key stakeholders were interviewing it could be partners EG partners in the marketplace we're interviewing customers, so the top customers.

 

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chrisdesktop: And where this looking at you know what who who are we, what do I set to do.

 

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chrisdesktop: And we're looking at organizational health we're looking at leadership we're looking at client experience and we're looking at the partnerships in the market and then we're looking at the overall marketplace and where the business is going.

 

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chrisdesktop: And then we assess okay well here's here's kind of where we are and the bottom line is whether someone's passing it on.

 

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chrisdesktop: Whether someone's selling the business internally, whether someone's selling the business externally, whether someone decides to convert the business to an Aesop and go on all the options.

 

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chrisdesktop: There isn't a time that I found that anyone wanted to transition a business and have the business worse off when they transition right.

 

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Michael Palumbos: Is that.

 

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chrisdesktop: So, so in essence it's like we're we're are we against that and if we're going to if you're looking at the idea of succession.

 

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chrisdesktop: Then, that means you have to take the lead the leader, the owner depending on if they're in the business involved with the business let's assume that they are which a lot of cases they are then you, you need to make them insignificant to the business so what's that mean.

 

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chrisdesktop: Right, so what I mean right, I have to make them insignificant.

 

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chrisdesktop: So I have to look at what are they doing I look at where they're involved I look at you know i've had i've had several clients.

 

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chrisdesktop: That say they want to be no longer at the helm of the business, they still want to be involved, but they want to be on a back seat now, and I still want to be part owner, but I wanted to stick that as like a multi stage right and which is totally cool to do.

 

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chrisdesktop: And the biggest issue in some of these cases is is control.

 

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chrisdesktop: Its control so nice, you know they don't know that right, but they have control issues so but bottom line is that the first stage is is a discovery and then we're able to say okay.

 

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chrisdesktop: Where are we at what are you know what are we doing well, where are where are risks, right now, where the opportunities for growth.

 

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chrisdesktop: You know, and then and then so once we come up with some.

 

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chrisdesktop: recommendations and it's all based on observations there's no judgment it's just this, this is what we heard from your clients, this is what your employees said to us, this is what you know you don't.

 

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chrisdesktop: know no one really when we asked them what your core value is where no one could answer that question.

 

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chrisdesktop: yeah right we asked them where is the business going to be in five years, and where they saw the business going they couldn't answer the question.

 

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chrisdesktop: And it's not so that tells us that you haven't defined it or, if you have you have done a poor job integrating it for people to own it understand it and.

 

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chrisdesktop: it's it's again not judgmental it's just where we're at and then then now we can least can come up with.

 

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chrisdesktop: From there that's Stage one from there, then, now we can come up with three initiatives this find three things that we agree are the biggest levers to pull right now.

 

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chrisdesktop: Is it developing certain peoples are bringing other people in.

 

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chrisdesktop: And, whatever that is and then also on that next stage it's worth me working with the owner, the CEO the the family with each member and really working through our our purpose and vision process that we've laid out so that.

 

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chrisdesktop: They can really get clear because, like I don't know that guy should you say I don't know what we should do, why not, because.

 

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chrisdesktop: We haven't really articulated what you want your left look like we haven't really articulated where your core values are that we have to make sure we protect.

 

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chrisdesktop: Because of core values can be at risk doing during the transition or through a transition So what are we looking to protect.

 

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chrisdesktop: And then, then from there, then it's like Okay, how do we all have our client if they want to keep their legacy, they want to protect the family, they want to protect the key stakeholders.

 

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chrisdesktop: And you know they want they want, on the other side of whatever this is they want they want opportunity for everyone involved per se so that's.

 

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Michael Palumbos: Right that's.

 

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chrisdesktop: The top because a rough answer to your question.

 

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Michael Palumbos: No, no that's great any and we kind of boil that down to Am I Okay, is my family okay is you know and, then, is my employee OK, and then, finally, after that, then it can think about is the greater Community okay.

 

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Michael Palumbos: Then you know what What does this mean for you know outside of.

 

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Michael Palumbos: That arena, we I think you've done a you know, a really fabulous job and tackling and diving into an arena that I don't think is often talked about enough.

 

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Michael Palumbos: And you know in that is that that CEO taken the time to step back to create the vision for what he or she really, really.

 

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Michael Palumbos: wants and it's not just the CEO but, even though you know some of the other stakeholders, like you said you know the daughter didn't even really want to be a part of the.

 

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Michael Palumbos: Business because.

 

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Michael Palumbos: The family's not having conversations and I always you know.

 

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Michael Palumbos: i'm a fan I don't know if you know Tom dean's at all if you've heard that name, but he wrote a book called every family's business.

 

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Michael Palumbos: And in there it's like 12 questions that every family should be doing and and his family had this really neat process where.

 

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Michael Palumbos: You know each generation they sold the business, so they had three generations of entrepreneurs.

 

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Michael Palumbos: But every generation sold the business because they protected the wealth that way because they didn't know if they had somebody coming up behind them, or who was going to want to do it.

 

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Michael Palumbos: And, and so, in his book he created just a little twist and just said, if somebody wants to.

 

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Michael Palumbos: Take their hard earned money and invest in the family, enterprise and put skin in the game that's a game changer in terms of whether they want to or not it's somebody that really wants to make that happen.

 

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Michael Palumbos: He said on an annual basis, at least be talking about you know if you're all in the business together, do you want to buy my shares if you don't want to buy my shares then you're an employee and that's perfectly Okay, but we don't have these conversations effort and.

 

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Michael Palumbos: They just don't happen so when we so now as a as a as a CEO I have a vision for what I want in the business, I have a vision of what I need to protect for myself right is that you know so it's what are my core values and my core purpose, how do I get those things fulfilled.

 

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Michael Palumbos: When I leave.

 

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Michael Palumbos: You know house right what's going to happen, maybe I don't know, maybe i'm not letting go because because I don't know how that's going to get fulfilled otherwise.

 

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chrisdesktop: Absolutely, and I didn't to me it's it's personal first it's always personal first.

 

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chrisdesktop: Okay, because you know I look at it is our business should fit into our life, our life doesn't have you know should fit into our business.

 

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chrisdesktop: Sure, and don't people may have you know not really into that way initially at the end of the day, you know we realize that.

 

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chrisdesktop: we're all gonna we're all going to die, but it's like life's life's short and so you know and a lot of the clients I work with are anywhere from most of them are I like it could be, it could be 40 to 70 really quite frankly.

 

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chrisdesktop: Right some somewhere in that you know i'll call it, as in 40 is kind of like sort of the mid life range ish about coming into the idea of and.

 

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chrisdesktop: that's when you start assessing things and checking in but just as you're saying, if my identity is tied to my business address, which I mean i've said that but.

 

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chrisdesktop: that's typically the case specially with a business where you're dealing with first gen founding the business that's even more the case there.

 

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chrisdesktop: Then, who am I, and actually that's part of the process that's actually one of the questions we go through.

 

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chrisdesktop: And it's it's a pretty deep question you know who you know what do I believe about myself would, I believe, about you know and, and that is like well.

 

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chrisdesktop: What am I going to do, like how am I going to be happy well if i've created these conditions in my business where i'm going to fix problems in my business to drive my my significance in life.

 

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chrisdesktop: there's an opportunity there if you wanted to you can either say okay i'm going to find a place to do that over here or.

 

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chrisdesktop: Perhaps you could change grow and heal some of that so that it's not necessary and you could still not that you wouldn't not do something.

 

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chrisdesktop: But maybe it'll serve on the board, later on, maybe it's you'll start a nonprofit I mean we can go on the list.

 

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chrisdesktop: But that those those ideas come later, once we really get clear on your purpose and the purpose and essence is tied to three things.

 

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chrisdesktop: it's number one your core values, what is it that you really hold to be your core values and we could have a process to do that.

 

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chrisdesktop: To what is your vision in life and the vision, we have a hierarchy fulfillment that we go through.

 

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chrisdesktop: It starts a spirituality and then it works its way up their health, health or well being men mental emotional and then to love and relationships and then on into society experiences, you want to create etc.

 

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chrisdesktop: And then it gets a business and finance and everything that's going to drive all that stuff that starts foundational up.

 

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chrisdesktop: So you got core values you got the 360 vision and then the third piece is.

 

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chrisdesktop: What are your gifts, what are your talents, what are your strengths, what are your attributes and we have assessments that would go through it really get clear.

 

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chrisdesktop: On where you're you know where your gifts are and we take those three things we overlay them and then that creates an essence, you know the purpose that we're we're word is that we want to be on point and someone's orientate.

 

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Michael Palumbos: lava I mean think about.

 

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Michael Palumbos: Pan you know I the statement that's popping in my head right now is.

 

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Michael Palumbos: If I only knew then you know if I only knew now what I heard if I only knew then what I know now right.

 

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Michael Palumbos: And, and that exercise is not done it's not talked about anywhere, for the most part, I mean you're talking about it, but I mean you know it's not part of every day conversations and yeah I can think of you know, several people who are just they live the ego drives.

 

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Michael Palumbos: Right so much.

 

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Michael Palumbos: You know and and so it's like you know the world sees them as this philanthropist this giver you know this, you know just all these wonderful things and that's how the world perceives them, but then the people closest to them.

 

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Michael Palumbos: may see you know that person that All they do is think about you know it's there them first it's you know it's it's I have moments, where I erupt because I didn't get my way or or it's you know about my time and my work in the business and.

 

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chrisdesktop: Then we change orientation, I have a client i've been working with a couple years now, and he did sell his business we weren't sure that first year he wasn't sure what he was going to do.

 

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chrisdesktop: And, and he was telling me that now he's he's got some other things were involved with and still working with them, and he told me other day, something that came up and he goes, you know.

 

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chrisdesktop: When this happened in the past, the old me would have left not stayed home for dinner when, God the office and worked on this problem until whenever it was fixed.

 

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chrisdesktop: And the new me, so I can work on this tomorrow and I, you know I stayed home and did X y&z and then he said it, but.

 

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chrisdesktop: It says, just as a different orientation right, because I, you know if I say I love my family and and you know these things, then my time, energy and effort should be focused on them, it shouldn't they shouldn't get the leftovers.

 

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Michael Palumbos: 100% and I it's it's funny because I was exposed to this kind of thinking early on, you know just reading books like you know thinking grow rich and.

 

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Michael Palumbos: You know the power of positive thinking, and you know people that had those kinds of concepts for me it took me years.

 

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Michael Palumbos: To be open to really understanding them, it was one thing to read them, it was another thing to embrace them and start to engage in them, and I think that was you know impart my ego.

 

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Michael Palumbos: It was really hard to like kind of let go a little bit and in recent years, you know it's even my wife, we were just talking about this, the other day she's like.

 

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Michael Palumbos: The old you would not have been able to say i'm frustrated I just need a minute, you would have like stomped out and then all mad and angry and you like you just told me that you just needed a second to like process the emotion that was pretty cool.

 

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Michael Palumbos: And and that's the kind of thing that I think that as leaders.

 

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Michael Palumbos: You know.

 

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Michael Palumbos: you're the most you know it's that that D personality, or the type personality, whatever you want to call it that rugged individualist.

 

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Michael Palumbos: Who, you know it's my way or the highway and I have to make these things happen, because if I don't make them happen my family doesn't need if it's, especially in that first generation, you know they're doing it.

 

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Michael Palumbos: Before you know it's not.

 

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Michael Palumbos: there's there's typically an embedded you know reason as to.

 

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Michael Palumbos: where it came from it wasn't just because I had this great idea and I wanted to do it, there was a drive that really pushed it to another level and unpacking those two pieces.

 

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Michael Palumbos: gets kind of tough yeah um let's talk about you know you've done a bunch of this so you know, we had now that i'm armed with my vision and I understand you know my purpose and my core values, and I have this vision for my world.

 

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Michael Palumbos: And you've talked about how do you blend that with the business and the transition and.

 

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Michael Palumbos: and putting all those pieces together, you also talked about I want I don't want, I want to make sure that people caught it.

 

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Michael Palumbos: You talk about basically you're creating this map for where they are right now and that map has all of my vendors and my customers and.

 

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Michael Palumbos: My key employees and you know the sandbox that we play in and what we're really good at, and a SWOT analysis and and putting all that in one page i'll tell you what.

 

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Michael Palumbos: I have not walked into any business ever where the owner said, you know that they can it's all in their head, but when they see it on paper.

 

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Michael Palumbos: it's so much different because there's patterns and there's things that that happened inside of there you know add my competitors down there, what are my competitors do well versus what we're doing.

 

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Michael Palumbos: it's a big difference, so now i've got my vision i've got my map of where I am today and now i'm going to start working through a process that multifaceted talk about that a little bit more.

 

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chrisdesktop: So, and then so then s&c you see you've got to now, we got the personal safety personnel side kind of laid out a little bit right and then we've we've assessed, where the businesses at the next next mortar businesses okay well, based on what i'm trying to drive for myself and the family.

 

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chrisdesktop: Where where ideally do we want our business, so we got we got the the core values of the business, which will make sure we define we've met with we haven't already.

 

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chrisdesktop: And then the mission of the business make sure that's defined if we haven't like, why do we exist, basically, what, why do we exist and then.

 

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chrisdesktop: The vision, you know the vision is, is where we get me right, where are we going What would it where is it that we're headed and where do we want to, we would want to do and it's you know, working with a family owned.

 

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chrisdesktop: Food and beverage company right now and more is not always better.

 

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chrisdesktop: To say let's just say there you know let's help us throw a number out this, for this is not the accurate number let's just throw one out so let's say there are 15 million just because there are 15 million doesn't need that they should be at 45.

 

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chrisdesktop: Maybe they maybe 25 is perfect, for them, and then we can look at where do they make the most money right where the most profitable what's what's their you know where is it that.

 

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chrisdesktop: They make the biggest difference, the biggest impact, where you know their edge.

 

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chrisdesktop: And we're and then where are there opportunities to grow that edge and the marketplace so there's there's there's so there's the path of the business, and we want the business to go, and you know and and you can also look at.

 

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chrisdesktop: I am not a attraction implemented but systems like traction I have clients that work with traction there they're really good right like.

 

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chrisdesktop: What and I believe every company needs to have a process in how they at 3am we used it process I build process out.

 

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chrisdesktop: there's gotta be some level process of okay what's our strategy and then what's our execution like, how do we can execute against that.

 

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chrisdesktop: And I believe in a quarterly basis that's tied to where we want to go for the year I believe that 90 day windows are really pretty essential.

 

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chrisdesktop: And with that being said at that same time Williams we're working on is the organizational health.

 

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chrisdesktop: let's work on it, we work through Patrick munching on his work, the five dysfunctions of a team where let's get people that's good let's improve vulnerability let's get artificial harmony out.

 

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chrisdesktop: Of the equation as much as possible and, with that in the leadership team and then that also with.

 

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chrisdesktop: Who else do we need to develop on the leadership team, do we need other people and where do we need to raise raise our levels there and then there's some mentoring, that my myself and my team will do.

 

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chrisdesktop: With that leadership team to help that leadership team to help them individually, develop and then we're doing working sessions, as we lay out these priorities and say okay let's start let's get everyone rowing together.

 

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chrisdesktop: And relationship to you know you get you get to take self interest off the table when you're in an organization from department to department right.

 

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chrisdesktop: And so, how do we get these departments to like him, but the goal of any type of succession, the goal of really even transitioning the business is.

 

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chrisdesktop: getting everyone to understand that if we all agree to the vision mission and core values of our company where our business is going to have this overarching direction of the business.

 

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chrisdesktop: If I believe that I do what's best here is also what's good for me here.

 

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chrisdesktop: Then i'll matt i'll march into that and if I believe that that's taken away from me and that's where the issues come and, if I remember the biggest.

 

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chrisdesktop: Sales job I guess you can say for me is in you know influencing people.

 

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chrisdesktop: And a positive way to realize that truly if we do what's best for the greater whole it's good for you as well it's not taking anything away from you, and you can still get to where you want to go.

 

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chrisdesktop: bye bye bye you know committing to the to the overall mission of what we want, and I think if you look at any contributor organization.

 

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chrisdesktop: Any key stakeholder in anytime there's succession or transition on the bit and the table, and I know you know you know this Michael but is that everyone's going like wasn't mean to me.

 

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chrisdesktop: Am I going to be, you know what what's going to happen to me with all this right so we've really got to I put that it's like hey man, we don't fill in those blanks.

 

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chrisdesktop: do, then you and you do they know you can get them to where they want to go, and the only way they'll know if you can get them to where they want to go is, if you know where the hell, they want to go.

 

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Michael Palumbos: Smart very smart it's what i'm laughing as you're talking about this because, last Thursday and Friday we did a two day.

 

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Michael Palumbos: kickoff and it was my second take on working with this company they kept pushing me off, you know that that you know, two years ago we started, then, now we don't want to do this.

 

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Michael Palumbos: And then you know they're like all right you're right, we have to do this if we don't do this, and that was the family, allowing non family members from that are part of the leadership team.

 

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Michael Palumbos: To create the plan together, because if you know, in my opinion, if they're not working together to create that plan they don't get way in how are they going to buy in.

 

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Michael Palumbos: And, and so as we're going through the what happened two years ago, there was lots of ideas, very little very little commitment to a direction, and I could just see the same thing happening so I just pulled it back up again, I talked about pat's triangle, you know and it's the pyramid rather.

 

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Michael Palumbos: And it's like look it you guys say you trust each other.

 

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Michael Palumbos: And I believe that you trust each other, because I can see that you're you're having conflict about really good things and nobody's nobody's afraid of that conflict it's really good but where you guys stink.

 

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Michael Palumbos: Is that you're going to need to commit to something and it just follow you know, and so we went back to I said, look at here's the deal, you have 15 minutes to make up what are the top three priorities for this year and the we're going to commit to.

 

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chrisdesktop: them.

 

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Michael Palumbos: And we're going to go forward with that because we just its timing and so they work through and in 15 minutes was.

 

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Michael Palumbos: crazy that you were able to come up with.

 

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Michael Palumbos: You know the three priorities, but to your point, I think that there's some other underlying things so i'm i'm not an.

 

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Michael Palumbos: attraction implemented a utilized metronomic so the three headway, which they're all coming from the same you know world in you know we talked about the cohesive system, which is that trust and.

 

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Michael Palumbos: You know powered by Patrick lens to me and getting those things to happen, but I, you know there's there's that individual piece of each of the leadership TEAM members.

 

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Michael Palumbos: You know the bed what's everybody's favorite radio station right what's in it for me wi I FM so that's.

 

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Michael Palumbos: I might I might have I might have a little bit more work to do, back there to go to take a step back to say you know where do you all want to go what is going on for you, so that they can.

 

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Michael Palumbos: They can be there, this is powerful powerful stuff and really appreciate, you know everything that you're sharing.

 

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Michael Palumbos: um once we start to him this these conversations, where you know we are blending the business strategy and the leadership and.

 

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Michael Palumbos: And at the end of it, you know the the psychological insights from kind of like your nlp and and a lot of times, let me just hit me up real quick neuro linguistic programming.

 

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Michael Palumbos: A lot of times when people hear those words they're like you know Oh, you know it's like.

 

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Michael Palumbos: what's he gonna do brainwash me and and that's not it at all is it, I mean nlp is all about it's the words that we say in our own brains and how they impact our lives, and I mean you may have a better way to explain that why don't you do that real quick.

 

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chrisdesktop: Well, in essence, we all have a model of the world and our motto of the world is constructed of our our paradigms our beliefs, our constructs, if you will, in relationship to everything, who we are.

 

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chrisdesktop: How the world works, I mean down down to the core.

 

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chrisdesktop: And yes, correct our language is a big part of of it right, we taken we're taking our our world from our visual auditory kinesthetic you take you take your five senses and we bring all that in and then our our subconscious mind filters that information out and determines.

 

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chrisdesktop: Our response and our emotional response in it unconsciously anyway, and it in essence it it's how we make decisions and it's how we orientate ourselves.

 

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chrisdesktop: And it's even how we can show up as a person, quite frankly, and how we behave and if you're looking to fundamentally drive any type of change personally.

 

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chrisdesktop: it's a very powerful system to drive change it's really an LP at the root of it is about changing.

 

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chrisdesktop: And so it's become a practitioner you're able to help unpack how someone really what's driving them and then help them, create new frames are.

 

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chrisdesktop: In essence, what Mike my goal is to help challenge the beliefs, that we hold that are not in particular that are not beliefs, that are helping us get to where we want to go that are disempowering if you will.

 

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chrisdesktop: Right and so that's that's that's that that and I and i've chosen to Center a lot of my work around that mindset because.

 

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chrisdesktop: The mindset drives everything I remember, I was working with someone in sales as a long time ago, and she was like well, so your your your philosophy is that there's that sales is about psychology.

 

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chrisdesktop: And that that's but that's that's your take on sales i'm thinking like well as a really another take.

 

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chrisdesktop: I i'm like I was really having a hard time with, that is, I still do you like.

 

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chrisdesktop: What was the other take like it is psychology right it's all psychology because that's what our thinking to it either, whether it's consciously what we're we're we're aware of it or subconsciously were unaware.

 

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chrisdesktop: it's still drives everything and so and it just and, for me it i've had an LP gave me the ability to understand a lot of what came to me naturally by just it wasn't aware that that you know, so it, I was able to help really helped me amplify my gift.

 

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Michael Palumbos: yeah and I will throw in you know that I am not a practitioner of nlp I somewhere along the lines as I, as I open up my time slots a little bit more, I think, I would like to spend some time in it, because you know.

 

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Michael Palumbos: Whether you know I look back, today I can I can think about my emotions, I can I can put my fingers on what am I feeling and why am I feeling it where where what are these things that are triggers and you know.

 

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Michael Palumbos: Those triggers happened to us over and over again, the question then becomes you know, do you scratch that record and that's kind of what nlp does is you have this habit and normally when this happens.

 

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Michael Palumbos: Your emotional responses X, you know why happens and your responses X and you don't even there's no, not even a millisecond.

 

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Michael Palumbos: In between what happened, and the response and and what nlp does is kind of scratches that record and allows you to react.

 

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Michael Palumbos: To to what's going on, so that you can actually put your fingers on and say oh i'm feeling that old trigger again hold on a second, do you know and where do I go with this.

 

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chrisdesktop: yeah yeah you can you can basically create a new and it was rewrote basically rewiring you know you're in regards style house, I mean affects you in it and it's extremely powerful.

 

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Michael Palumbos: I love it I love and I know a lot of people that may be listening to the site oh that sounds touchy feely and.

 

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Michael Palumbos: You know if.

 

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chrisdesktop: that's your belief that's your model of the world because which one.

 

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Is.

 

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Michael Palumbos: It right but, at the end of the day, but at the end of the day.

 

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Michael Palumbos: You know you don't have to understand the rules of gravity, but if you drop that pencil it's still fallen to the floor.

 

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Michael Palumbos: yeah and and once you start to understand that our brains are just a computer and you know that it just has been programmed over your whole entire lifetime.

 

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Michael Palumbos: And, like it or not, you know some of that wiring is really good and that's probably what drove the success of your business.

 

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Michael Palumbos: But if you're if you're stalling if there's things that are happening like you know what if i'm 68 years old and i've said, for the last 10 years I want to retire, I want to pass this on I might have even I might even you know passed on the business to.

 

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Michael Palumbos: my daughter, and I may not be the owner any longer, but.

 

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Michael Palumbos: i'm still running the company because.

 

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Michael Palumbos: You know I just haven't I haven't been able to extract myself, because we that word that you said before control.

 

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Michael Palumbos: In my view of the world, and my thinking around what this company needs and for goodness sake there's 150 families here that you know depend on me and so now i'm still working 50 or 60 hours a week at 68 years old, and that was not what I had intended.

 

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chrisdesktop: yeah It means that something pretty powerful is that.

 

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chrisdesktop: If any high achiever or anyone who's created success you've developed these amazing strategies and habits.

 

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chrisdesktop: Those amazing habits and strategies.

 

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chrisdesktop: almost always don't get you to the next place you want to go.

 

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chrisdesktop: we'll get you to that point.

 

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chrisdesktop: In your business.

 

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chrisdesktop: But they become the person that holds you back from the next thing and that's that's where you know that's that's the power of of the work, quite frankly, and I think the essence is is that.

 

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chrisdesktop: Like you just said, you also said I which I was really, really great in relationship to.

 

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chrisdesktop: The all the conditions of why I can't i've been wanting to but I can't right, and when we get into the the I can't it's an essence it's called a story and the story is is the illusion that we we've created for ourselves.

 

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chrisdesktop: that first we have to believe it for us and then it's you know so well because we're going to sell it to other people, but first person we're going to sell to as ourselves now this doesn't happen consciously.

 

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chrisdesktop: But we create a story of why we can't and then we own that story until someone like myself comes along potentially or Michael and says hey.

 

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chrisdesktop: there's your story's a bunch of bullshit.

 

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chrisdesktop: And here's why.

 

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Michael Palumbos: someone's gonna call me yes.

 

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chrisdesktop: And so that that that's an essence it, you know as long as you want to keep that you know and add a CEO was talking to a.

 

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chrisdesktop: month ago we were talking about something, and he was one of the things why i'd like to do this, but above up up up on he's done very well and i'm like i'm like all right yeah $40 million business.

 

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chrisdesktop: you've got to see oh and i've kind of knew a little bit about what was going on i'm like it's got a lot more control this time.

 

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chrisdesktop: Then I believe so i'm like well, where is this story coming from the you don't have time to focus on making this a priority right now.

 

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chrisdesktop: And he boy he he's like you know I he said I love and hate you at the same time.

 

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chrisdesktop: He didn't know really you know it's like you know I like.

 

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chrisdesktop: You know you're going to hang up or we're going to keep talking, because the questions on the table and you realize that the question has validity yeah yeah.

 

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Michael Palumbos: Now I love and hate you at the same time, myself, because I said something earlier about I want to you know dive into nlp but I don't have the time right now.

 

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Michael Palumbos: So I guess you just.

 

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chrisdesktop: Did as long as long as you say it's a choice than to say choice i'm choosing.

 

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chrisdesktop: And that's all right.

 

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Michael Palumbos: 100% ah me on my Chris if people want to get Ahold of you, you know where do they go.

 

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chrisdesktop: yeah um it's chrissy chrissy Yahoo COM it's by the best you know, and then the name of our business as a Center for conscious living and fulfillment is the name of our organization and then Chris Chris yonkers calm, despite the best the best resource for best resource to go to.

 

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chrisdesktop: And you know you can sign up for newsletter and there's a website also the greatest years of your life calm and there's also you can get you can access the vision workbook there if you want to get it get a copy of it, the one I mentioned earlier, so.

 

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Michael Palumbos: love it, you know it's you and I have had this is the we did a pre show call that.

 

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Michael Palumbos: Just was like.

 

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Michael Palumbos: I was like oh I can't wait to have this conversation with Chris and here we are you didn't disappoint this is.

 

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Michael Palumbos: Such a powerful stuff and one of the things that I just want to point out is you do have the newsletter you do have some things you can try, if you're listening to this if you're a CEO that's just like been stuck and just can't figure those things out.

 

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Michael Palumbos: Give yourself the opportunity to be you know tap into the foo foo tap into the this all soft stuff and and you know the you know my brain or my psychological or my emotions and just you don't give it a second to you know try A newsletter or 10 and maybe it's the 10th.

 

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Michael Palumbos: one.

 

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Michael Palumbos: That you listen to and I say this because you know I had a book on the back of my toilet it was just sitting on the back there a friend and giving it to me for four year four years earlier, and it just sat there.

 

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Michael Palumbos: And sat there and I just for whatever reason I couldn't pick it up, but all of a sudden, you know I.

 

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Michael Palumbos: Just looked at it one day and I said oh my gosh that might have the answers that i'm thinking about.

 

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Michael Palumbos: And it was all you know it was talking about your view of the world and the universe, and how it all comes together, which I was.

 

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Michael Palumbos: Totally for years earlier, I wasn't ready for it, I couldn't I wouldn't been open to it because of where I was in my in my space in my time, you know what do they say.

 

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Michael Palumbos: When the student is ready, the master will come yeah.

 

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Michael Palumbos: Right yeah so yeah I say everybody listening, you know if this even strikes even a little tiny corner sign up for you know go ahead and.

 

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chrisdesktop: there's a book there's a book, too, I did wrote a book, I wrote a book it's on Amazon called sole intention so ul.

 

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chrisdesktop: And then there's a podcast to secret thoughts of CEOs as the podcast to an apple spotify Amazon so that.

 

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Michael Palumbos: A lot of well.

 

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chrisdesktop: Thank you.

 

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Michael Palumbos: Chris yonkers Thank you everybody, thank you, everybody for less than and make sure you subscribe, so that you can get on you know future episodes my name is Michael Columbus with family wealth and legacy and you have been listening to the family business show Thank you so much, everybody.

If you’re a family business or a family business consultant and want to be on the show, share your story and help other family businesses, send us an email to producer@thefamilybizshow.com or fill out a contact form here!

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Michael Palumbos is a registered representative of Lincoln Financial Advisors Corp. Securities and investment advisory services offered through Lincoln Financial Advisors Corp., a broker/dealer (member SIPC) and registered investment advisor. Insurance offered through Lincoln affiliates and other fine companies. Family Wealth & Legacy, LLC is not an affiliate of Lincoln Financial Advisors Corp. Lincoln Financial Advisors Corp. and its representatives do not provide legal or tax advice. You may want to consult a legal or tax advisor regarding any legal or tax information as it relates to your personal circumstances.

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